the pause
the year of doing nothing
swimming at the ywca
every chance I get
the only place I feel free
the only place I connect
my arm rises up
meets the water
stroking downward
propelling me forward
why can’t my spirit drive me
the same way?
have I made all the wrong choices?
this failed relationship
I still refuse to release,
an education that has lead me
to a world that feels alien
the water is cool
yet it warms me inside
is it angry to be trapped
in a rectangular box
inside an old building
where old ladies await
to climb in and run in place?
there is a spirit here
that has yet to meet its destiny
so aware of itself
but unable to see what lays
just beyond the walls
maybe I will sneak in one night
and bucket by bucket release the water
or find the plug and yank it loose
flowing forth the floodwaters
the sudden surge of freedom
and thereby change
the face of the earth
my face turns
take another breath
arm reaches out
take another stroke
leg rises up
kick another kick
the end of the pool
I climb out
pick up my towel
dry off my hair
and the world changes
forever
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